The Help….

Well it’s been an interesting past 4 days. My emotional roller coaster hasn’t slowed down a bit. Last Friday I think I felt the worst to date. I just felt like I was begging to unravel on top of this whole IVF thing my family wasn’t helping out my situation. To tell you the truth I was pretty much mad at the world and it showed. I knew I had to do something I felt like I’ve been trying to control something that’s uncontrollable. After I was ridiculously rude to my mom and little brother had a screaming match with my husband. This was odd usually I yell, he listens it was actually a little refreshing to have him yell back. I knew it wasn’t ok. I don’t want to be that girl that everyone walks on eggshells around.

Earlier that day my best friend across the hall had told me I really need to find something to get away from all this. She told me you used to love to read what happened. I didn’t have an answer. I used to love to read. I would waste days away and just read and now I can’t even remember what the last book was that I read. Saturday I woke up with that knot still in my stomach and now I have this irritating leg shaking thing that I can’t seem to control. Yeah just one more thing I can’t seem to control!

Shopping always make me feel better but with this IVF right around the corner we are pretty much pinching any penny we have hoping it will be enough. Unfortunately the financial cost of all of this has probably been %70 of my stress. I don’t know how people do it; we can’t even afford the one procedure more or less do two or three. Ok, I better get off this subject my leg is begging to shake haha.

Well with shopping out of the question I decided I should go get a book. I had heard a few things about “The Help.” So I went by Costco and picked it up (I think books are always cheaper there). I got home and got right to reading. I think I remember why I stopped reading; because once I start I can’t stop. I m not one of those readers that reads a chapter here or there. I’m just too impatient (one of my many amazing qualities). So I read pretty much read the whole weekend. My husband even told me I was rude on Sunday when we were at a family BBQ : / It was great though when I was reading that book I was just reading all worries and stresses didn’t come sneaking back into my thoughts like they have been when I had been doing just about anything else. It’s great how books can do that to you. I finished the book last night, it was a great read.

 I woke up feeling good today I still have a little knot in my stomach but it’s not quite so big I don’t have a headache from all the thinking. I know I’m still on this roller coaster but for now it’s on an even slope.

Now I’m looking for my next book to read, if anyone has any suggestions please let me know.