Where to start....

During the last 9 days, I must have sat at my computer and started to write something for my blog at least 10 times. I never could seem to get my head focus enough the write anything other than non-sense. I guess you could say the past 9 days have been a bit of a roller coaster.

Sunday the day after are transfer, I was on cloud 9 all I could do was stare at the picture of a little embies my smile was plastered on. I hoped that feeling would never go away. Unfortunately by Monday it was back to work and not just my everyday job. It was time for our annual Holiday party and as part of our Employee activity committee that meant the craziest time of year. I pushed myself harder than I should have. Monday and Tuesday I had worked almost 11 hour days and by the time I got home I was completely exhausted. DH and I got into an argument on Tuesday night, he was not happy with me. He knew I was pushing too hard. I know he was right, I think I was just trying to keep busy. Both nights I had quite a bit of cramping, it was really freaking me out. Wednesday was the day of the event. I really made the extra effort not to push so hard. Nobody on the Employee activity committee knew what was going on so the day of the party I had to fake an intense headache to allow myself a few brakes. The party turned out great!!  I managed to get my mind off of this whole process long enough to enjoy myself!

                                          Pictures from the Photo booth at the Party

Than Thursday came and this meant back to work as usual, yeah right usual, I don’t think I got any work done which only added to my stress. I gave myself a pass and told myself if now isn’t a time to slack off there never will be! I didn’t have too much cramping on Tuesday just a few sharp pains in my lower back. Friday was pretty much a repeat of Thursday only I decided to leave work early; I wasn’t doing anyone any good at work. Friday night came and that’s when the insomnia started I got to bed around 10:00 and by 3:00am I was wide eyed and ready to go. I tried everything to get to bed but it wasn’t happening.  Finally by 6:00am I was up and getting started on my grandmother in laws birthday cake it was her 80^th birthday. With both my sister and mother in law being Jehovah’s Witness that left me as the only lady in the family to do anything for her. We planned a nice dinner with my father in law his brother DH cousin, girlfriend and there little one. It was a nice time and it was nice to keep busy. When DH grandma blew out the candles she said “I made the same wish I made at Thanksgiving when we broke the wish bone” She winked over at DH and I. She is so sweet!

 The Cake I made for DH Grandma!!

 I was pretty tired by the time we got home and thought that I would fall right to sleep which I did but around 2:00am I was wide awake. I laid there for hours trying to sleep with no luck. Saturday we had bought some HPT, so I decided to take one two about 4:00 in the morning. Pretty quickly the second pink line came up and I started to cry. I woke DH and we were both so excited.

                                           I think the lines looked darker in person!

Sometime I annoy myself by being so negative. Our excitement was short lived do to my own skepticism.  Sunday we kept busy and finished up the last of our Christmas shopping. By 3:00 I was completely warn out, we went home hoping to take a nap. Again, no luck instead I started watching some ridiculous show that left me in tear while DH was sleeping. He woke up and seen my crying.  He told me ok we have to so something to keep you busy. I really wasn’t up to leaving the house so we decided to do some Christmas wrapping and watch a movie. Thankfully it worked we wrapped gifts until almost 8:00 we are almost all done!! Yay us! Sunday night was pretty much a repeat of Saturday night I was up by 2:0 am and POAS. This one came up even faster than the last and was pretty much the same color as the first line. I went in and told DH we were excited. I’m still not sure why I POAS it gave me no relief I still felt just as nervous. Then there was yesterday, ohhh the torture. I swear ever hour felt like an eternity!. DH called me at work around 12:00 and told me “I’m going crazy I can’t think of anything other than our results.” I told him welcome to the party!!!! That’s how I’ve been the last week!” He didn’t enjoy my sarcasm! We had both decided to leave work early so we could get the call together. The clinic told us they would be calling between 3:00 and 4:30. Given their track record we figured it would be closer to 4:30 and boy were we right 4:29 and still no call. I almost had a full on anxiety attack. So I decided to call them, my nurse got on the phone and said well Congratulations!!!   I was so excited I felt like the world was lifted off of my shoulders. Than me being the skeptic I am said like “pregnant, pregnant” she laughed and said yes “pregnant, pregnant.” We hung up and then came the jumping “it’s become a bit of a ritual for DH and I, when we hear good news” The jumping turned to hugging witched turned to crying. They were the happiest tears I have ever shed. I honestly never thought this day would come. I still can’t believe it’s true. We told both of our parents and sisters and DH grandmother, we got screams and tears. They are all so happy for us!

I still can’t believe we got a BFP!! Now all I can do is pray that my level rise tomorrow. This waiting game is ridiculous and I know it’s not going anywhere anytime soon!

I want to thank all of you Ladies for your advace,encouragemnt and support. Although I know none of you in person I am forever indebted. You have helped me through one of the hardest things I have ever had to face and although this journey is far from over. Im not sure I could have made it to this point without you! Words are not enough but THANK YOU!!