Feel like I haven’t posted in forever! Well it’s been over a week so I guess it has been long enough. I have sat down to write something a few times and the truth is I’m at a blank. I have had a stressful week I started spotting New Years Eve and still hasn’t stopped I have been so scared this happiness is going to get ripped away. The spotting has been brown and red. I really got myself all worked up. I have actually had a few nightmares that included me having a miscarriage. My fear of the toilet was at an all time high yesterday. My RE knew what was going on and had me go in for another ultrasound today. Thankfully all is well today they are both measuring perfect and both heartbeats are strong. They think the bleeding might just be from my progesterone suppositories. My fingers are crossed that there right!
I am on cloud nine and so so thankfully to be pregnant that’s followed with guilt and then anger. Infertility is an devastating,awful,miserable thing and it drives me crazy knowing all the couples that suffer from it. It is so unfair and as happy as I am, I hurt so much for those that haven’t gotten there BFP. I’m not sure where this blog is going to go, I really don’t want it to turn into a pregnancy update and I also don’t want to not share my joy. I really do feel stuck.
5 comments:
Ahhh, scary! I'm glad to hear that you got in for another ultrasound and things looked great! I am SO anxious for our first ultrasound tomorrow- I was sure my level of worry would decrease after it, but I'm beginning to think I'm telling myself lies :)
I'm feeling a little bit limbo as well, but I know that THIS is where I need to stay until I actually pop a kid out. This is the only group of women who understand my obsessive thoughts of miscarriage and my attempt to let go of any control and just be pregnant. Stick around and keep us updated on your twins!
O my how scary! glad to hear your ultrasound went well! sending you lots of prayers! and please stick around and share your joy! those who don't want to be happy with you can choose not to read! I like reading the positive happy blogs after struggles with IF it gives me hope! keep writing! :D
Glad you got good news and reassurance. That darned spotting can drive a woman crazy, especially one that's had to go through so much just to get pregnant!
My vote is to keep us updated every step of the way!
Joey
http://thechildlessmom.blogspot.com
As soon as you said spotting the first thing that came to mind was progesterone. Glad your doc is on top of things and the bambinos are doing great. I hope you continue to give pregnancy updates and on your twins. I look forward to the updates. It gives me hope that one day I will be in that position too, it makes me smile. I know that not all stories have happy endings in the IF world but I think when you do have one you should share it, it gives us hope....well me at least. Thats my two cents....or three.
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