Getting through....

So I have to tell you Monday was a bit of an outer body experience. I honestly think it was one of the hardest days I have ever faced. The amount of blood was really unbelievable; I thought for sure it was all over. It just kept coming and coming, I don’t think word could every express my fear. I couldn’t even look at the screen when the RE was doing the ultra sound even when she said they babies were fine. I didn’t have the heart to look at them. My friend that took me to the DR told me look they’re fine. I think I could have hit her. I felt like yeah they’re fine NOW!! I feel so bad I didn’t look at those beautiful babies growing inside of me. Our drive home was silent I didn’t say a word; I didn’t even thank her for taking me. I just felt numb, it was such an awful feeling to think that the babies are growing perfect but my body once again is choosing to be difficult. It was an awful reminder that I have no control.

I prayed and prayed for God to give me comfort and understanding, he did just that. I know he can heal all things and I have to just have faith that what will be will be. Tuesday was honestly a better day I just focused on the fact that my babies are in there being strong and growing and I have to be strong for them.

Thankfully when we went in to the RE office yesterday we received the news we wanted. The hematoma was already smaller and healing itself. We heard the most beautiful sounds it the world, our little babies hearts beating away!! Yesterday I hit my 8 week mark and they measured at 8w and 8w1day. Thankfully their growth was not affected at all.

Thank you so much for all your kind words it meant a lot!!

Whatever you ask for in prayer, believe. Mark 11:24... Faith is not a sense, nor sight, not reason, but simply taking God at His word. The beginning of anxiety is the end of faith, and the beginning of true faith is the end of anxiety!