Now we wait.....

I am feeling a little better today. I thought I would better explain how my dreaded Wednesday went down. Yesterday’s blog took all the energy I had.

They day really did start out good. I had received all my final lab work I needed and got the call that my meds came in. I was feeling good. I think I was honestly getting a little impatient. I thought next Friday couldn’t come soon enough. Then Dr. Chung called I could tell from the way she said hello that it wasn’t good. She told me that the results from the HSG showed I had Hydrosalpinx. This is a fluid buildup in my blocked fallopian tube. Unfortunately if the fluid enters the endometrial cavity it alters the local environment or affects the embryo in a detrimental way. Dr. Chung told me we have two options one was to stop the IVF cycle and have surgery to have the tube removed or detached. Option two would be to go thru with the Egg retrieval and freeze the embryos. Then we discussed how pregnancy ratings drop with frozen embryos. I’m not sure why but, without even thinking I said I would go with option one.  She told me my next step would be to call my OBGY and get an appointment to schedule the procedure. HAHA easier said than done when you are dealing with Kaiser. I called to schedule an appointment with my OBGY and low and behold he didn’t have an available appointment until late October. I mean seriously, late October?!?! I almost lost it; OK I did lose it but just a little. When I explained to the nurse what was going on she told me to call and try to get in to see a different OBGYN just to get the ball rolling.  I did that and was able to see a new doctor the same day (yeah BAD idea) this lady was crazy or just plan insensitive. These were her first words when she came in “Let me understand this, you went in for surgery in “09” had a blocked tube and here we are two years later and you wont to do something about it?”. I’m not one that likes to resort to violence but I almost smacked her. There I was in this little paper rob feeling naked, empty from the day I had just had and now this lady was talking to me like I was an IDIOT! During all of this I don’t think she looked me in the face once. I then with the rudest tone I could gather without crying told her “NO!! Let me try to help you better understand this!!” Then I proceeded to tell her how I got to this point. She looked a little dumbfounded and just said “Well I would have to see what was in the OP report to even see what I can do”. I proceeded to remind her as nicely as I could that Kaiser always talks about how every doctor in there system can see your medical file with just a click of a button. So she should try checking my file9I think I was ready to boil over). She did just that, after a few moments of silence well she glanced over the notes from my last surgery. She looks at me and says and I quote “Well it looks like a war zone in there, I can’t guarantee anything but this is going to be a very difficult surgery” Then she went on about how I am all tangled up in there. My tube is connected to by bowel and my bladder with a whole bunch of scar tissue mixed in. Then went on about how there are so many risk of complications just to name a few she could cut my bowl then have to put in a bag so that it doesn’t cause and infection or she could damage the ovary well trying to get around the cyst and as she so nicely put it “then you would be a 27 year old in menopause with no children”. Wasn’t she so reassuring?

 I could go on and on about how awful this appointment was because, believe me it felt like it went on forever. But eventually I left her office in tears and called the nurse from my OBGYN office, the one that did my previous surgery. I think she felt my pain and frustration. She told me she was able to find me an appointment for September 13 (WOHOO what a relief). I called my nurse at USC fertility after and told her what happened at my appointment. She reassured me that Dr. Chung had looked at all my film and if she thought there was a chance of them having to remove my Ovary that she wouldn’t have given me two options that gave me a little relief. SO now I have to sit and wait until the 13^th and see what my OBGYN says.

But now I’m just left here wondering if maybe we should have went thru with the cycle and froze the embryos. But I can play the what if game forever.  I think sometimes you have to just trust in your instincts so that what I’m doing.

Thank you for all the kind words. This whole process can make you feel so alone. It’s nice to know that there are woman out there that understand.