INCAPABLE OF REPRODUCING

I received a call from my Dr. Yesterday in the bit of a panic.  He forgot to get me to sign a consent form and it needed to be done at least 72 hours before surgery. He said he had completely forgotten about the form until one of his nurses reminded him. It was the consent for sterilization (Yikes). Yes, I know exactly what I am going into surgery for but, to hear the word sterilization it made me almost throw up.It stated somewhere along the lines of by signing this you understand that you will be permanently incapable of reproducing.  My Dr. was quick to tell me you know this doesn’t all apply to you since you are going thru IVF. At the end of the day it does apply to me. I am INCAPABLE OF REPRODUCING at least on my own. It hurt it still hurts, to see it written out and my signature on the bottom. It was like I heard the news for the first time all over again. My DH didn’t understand why I was so upset he told me “It’s ok remembers we are doing IVF”. Of course I remember, how could I forget! I also know that IVF is no guarantee and with all the money one cycle is costing us we most likely will not be able to do another for years if ever. I don’t have years I already only have one ovary with low egg reserve. I am just feeling too overwhelmed. I know there are many women that are in my shoes but today I feel alone. Why is it that I cannot do the one thing so many women can? I know that no one has that answer. I also know that God has a plan for DH and I. I pray that plan is for us to bring our baby home one day.