We have a heartbeat x2!!

I can’t believe it but we are having twins!! We went in for our 6 week ultrasound this morning and seen 2 perfect gestational sacs 2 perfect yolk sacs and 2 perfect heartbeats. My RE said everything looks good then she rephrased and said no everything looks GREAT! She just kept saying perfect and great! They are identical in size! I think I’m still in shock DH and I cried and then just started at each other I think we are both in disbelief. I am feeling over the moon happy! I feel so very blessed! I might just be the happiest girl in the world at this very moment!

Hope you all had a Merry Christmas

I had amazing past few days filled with family! We laughed we cried and even fought over a few games of Taboo. My family is so darn competitive yes me included. I must tell you the women came out the victors! DH and I received so many gifts you would think we were 10 year old kids both of our families really spoil us (its a little ridiculous) I am so incredibly thankfully, I cant wait until next year I pray and pray this baby(ies) makes it to our arms!! Christmas really is about the kids, watching my niece and nephews face light up after every gift the opened was really priceless!!

I have to share with you one of my favorite parts of Christmas.

DH family is big on Christmas card, my family sent out Holiday cards but they give individual ones to everyone in the family. At first I didnt really understand why but after only one Christmas I realized what a great thing it is. DH family is not big on the lovey dovey or really talking about there feelings this was a bit of a shock to me since I come from a family of drama queens! They use these card to really thank each other for the year that has passed. The all spend hours looking for the perfect cards. When everyone reads there cards before they open present you can see the tear in there eyes, those Christmas cards mean the world to them. With a year full of up and down those cards were my favorite Christmas gift. DH Dads card made me cry, ok they all made me cry. Than I got to DH's card to me. I cried one of those uglies cries.  I know this is a tradition I will always carry on in my family.

I am so thankfully for another year with my family, friends and most of all DH.

5 weeks and a BETA!!!

First off I want to welcome anyone visiting from ICLW. Thank You for stopping by!

You have caught me just weeks after my BFP!! I have never wanted to skip Christmas in my life but today I just want the 28^th to get here. This is when I will get my first ultra sound.

I just got a call from my nurse my BETA for today is 4116!! This is 18dp3dt or 5 weeks preggos!! I still can’t believe it. I really have had a difficult time wrapping my head around it. Is it just me or is the excitement always short lived? It’s not that I’m always nervous but in the hours before the call from my RE’s office I am a total freak. Then they call I get totally excited and then have a short freak out about the next appointment. I mean seriously Jessica chill out! (I have told myself this on numerous occasions) I have never been so scared and happy in my whole life. I can’t wait for the day that I don’t cringe every time I wipe (TMI) it’s the truth every time I go to the bathroom I cringe. Don’t get me wrong I am so so incredibly thankfully and I wouldn’t give all these crazy emotions for the world.  DH has been the cutest thing every morning when he leaves for work he gives me a kiss and goes to my belly and says “stick around please we love you already” sometime he also throws in “Im a pretty cool guy and you’re going to want to meet me.” It makes me want to cry almost every time!!

Update

BETA #3 from yesterday 494!!  My nurse told me my number was great and to relax and enjoy pregnancy!! I feel so relieved. Thankfully the spotting only happened that once and hasn't returned. (Excuse me well I knock on wood). I'm felling good to day I think I might actually go buy a baby book, might! It still scares me a little a lot!!

I might kick myself in the butt for writing this but here it goes!!

I am feeling great today. I actually was feeling good last night. Not great in the since that my body feels normal because my boobs feel like they are being stabbed and the grumbling in my stomach is no fun plus I’ve been waking up around 4:30 in the morning with some pretty intense huger pains. That is fine and well with me though! I’m not sure what it is but, my anxiety has really subsided I actually feel calm. Strange right? I mean I know so many thing can go wrong but today I really feel whatever will be will be and for whatever reason I think that means bringing baby(ies) home. I have told myself no more Dr. Google it really is a problem and the truth is regardless of what I read it isn’t going to change.

On a bit of a side note:

I have to tell you, the ladies at my clinic have really been nothing amazing. I am so glad we went with USC. My visit this past Wednesday when I went in for my 2^nd BETA was great. I was greeted with hugs and smiles two of the nurse actually did a bit of a happy dance for us. They told me they were all waiting for my numbers to come in and they all wanted to be the ones to call and tell me! (It made me feel special)

We have gone through a few bumps during this whole IVF process and not only did my own nurse call to check in so did two other. They all just called to tell me they were thinking of me and really tried hard to reassure me. I know they didn’t have to that. One of my favorites Francine (love her British accent) must have talked to me for over half an hour and I know the office was closed. Really though the whole staff has been amazing (I could do without the rude receptionist) they all have made me and Nick feel so comfortable. I have had my run in with a few bad doctors and nurses in my day and they can make or break your day. Often it’s regardless of what they say but how they say it. This whole process can be too much for even the strongest people to handle but when you have a great people supporting you it makes the ride a little smoother!

Thank you so much for your kind words yesterday I took all the advice and really tried to take it easy. Thankfully there were no causalities due to my stress level!

I'm SCARED.....

I’m telling you, just went I let my guard down just a little, BAM I take a dive.

I was baking last night when I felt a little bit of an upset stomach I wouldn’t call it cramping more upset. I went to the bathroom and I felt my heart sink there was blood. This might be TMI but I’m going to put it out there because I’m still freaked out.

It wasn’t bleeding I would consider it more spotting. It was only on the toilet paper. I called my RE office in a total panic by the time the on-call RE called me back I was having a full on breakdown. He told me based on my BETA he wasn’t concerned but that I should lay down the rest of the evening and take an extra progesterone suppository one when we got off the phone and another around 10:00. I did just that I work up once during the night and went to the bathroom, thankfully no blood. This morning when I went to the bathroom there was little excess of the suppository it was not it usually white it was more on the brown side but, nothing else I haven’t had any more bleeding.

My nurse called me this morning and got me a little scared. All the questions only make me more nervous. I did have a little back pain but nothing intense I thought it was from me sleeping on my back so much I am normally a belly girl. The whole was it pink or was it red. I mean it wasn’t like crazy red but I wouldn’t say pink. DH swears it was more pink than red but I think he is just saying that. I swear I wish they had a picture of pink vs. red and what they considered each. Her tone wasn’t as calming as the RE last night he actually said “I promise everything is fine” which bothered me because we all know he can’t promise me anything. He was very reassuring though my nurse this morning not so much. She said if I had anymore bleeding than to call and I would go in tomorrow for another blood test. About 20 min after are call I sent her an e-mail asking if I could go in either way. I haven’t received a response back.

I am so nervous and everyone just keeps telling to relax. I really want to rip their heads off I mean like SERIOUSLY!!

I want this so bad I am just absolutely terrified. I pray everything is going to be OK.

11dp3dt 2nd BETA!!!

WOHOOOO 2nd  BETA 217!!!

BETA #3 Scheduled for December 21st and first Ultra Sound Scheduled for December 28th!

How am I going to wait a week?!?!?